Valentine’s Day is only few days away and conventionally we men are expected to deliver something special to express our affections for our ladies. Recently I have come across numerous blog posts centered on how men can be more romantic and make their women feel special.
The other day at work, a group of us were talking and the question of what everyone was doing for Valentine’s Day came up. The general consensus was it was an overrated experience but for the sake of our respective partners, it is worth putting something together to show that we care. One colleague even said he was only going to order in some take away and watch a movie with his wife.
I don’t think the issue is us not knowing what to do or how to express ourselves, I feel it’s more of a question of whether we care enough about the day.
Surely the occasion should be about the woman and not the day?
Well it has become more about the day because some women have bought into the commercial gimmick and are lost in the sauce of it. Men are being put under pressure to live up to a societal definition of what the day should be about. If it’s not roses, expensive gifts, chocolates and elaborate gestures, it’s looked down upon because these has become the standard by which being special is measured. As the day is meant to be about celebrating love, should not matter whether we’re both chilling cuddled up on the sofa watching TV or dining in a 5 star Michelin restaurant?
I’m sure a good number of men would agree with me when I say the weight of expectation that comes with Valentine’s Day can make it feel more of a chore. Although for the sake of happiness, some of us go still go above and beyond but the authenticity that’s meant to come with the occasion is compromised. Also some women have become quite self-obsessed, in that they are not bothered whether the man’s heart is in it or not, their interest simply lies in promoting their vanity and fictitious reality on social media. These are the ones that haven’t posted pictures all year but it is all #goals on the day.
Let me just state that how or what a man chooses to do on Valentine’s Day is not necessarily a true reflection of his heart or feelings He might be pulling out all the stops, and whilst you’re thinking bae and hubby, he’s thinking booty. Not that I blame them because the reality is when true feelings are missing, the whole affair becomes a transaction. If he’s spending his money, then he should be expecting something back in return.
I am not saying women do not deserve to be treated or made to feel special on Valentine’s Day, however it should not be out of pressure. Be open minded and allow us to be creative and express our hearts in the way we feel. If both hearts are present and love is the primary focus, then the purpose of the day would be served.
Also it helps if women can show that they care about our feelings on the day. Simply asking us what we would like to do on the day can go a long way in demonstrating that our feelings matter and you are selfless enough to want us to enjoy the occasion. It’s not just about you. The planning process might even be more enjoyable as oppose to feeling like a task that would be judged.
Please comment below, I would love to know your view