Few weeks ago, one of my favorite relationship bloggers – Tin got in touch saying she was writing a piece about women proposing and would like my perspective as a man on the topic. Check out our views on the topic…
I know I know it’s the 21st century, what may not have been the norm a few years ago is now the norm. However in regards to a woman proposing to a man my views are very much old school/traditional let’s say and I am sure I am not alone.
Let me be honest, I give absolute props and admiration to women that propose to men, because I certainly wouldn’t have the balls to do so. This shows so many attributes, confidence being one of the ones that stand out, which I would commend her for. It also shows us that she will go for what she wants despite what society makes us believe is to be expected and the stereotypes that exist.
The media definitely plays a significant role in shaping our views on this topic. We are constantly shown images and videos of a man proposing to a woman. Engagement rings that are constantly advertised are very gender specific and aimed for women. Of course a woman proposing to a man does not occur as frequently as a man proposing to a woman. However it does happen and scenarios such as this should be portrayed.
Personally I cannot picture myself taking the steps to propose to my man, of course I can never say never but it’s very very unlikely I should say. I have imagined and pictured from a young age how amazing a proposal would be and it has never involved me being the one that’s asking for a partners hand in marriage.
As women the majority of us strive for equality and rightly so, but I do believe in some aspects of life there are some roles a man should take and some a woman should take. For me I would like my man to initiate this and take the lead in this aspect of moving our relationship forward.
This is just my personal opinion and preference; however I am a strong believer that as individuals we should do what we want to do regardless of what is considered to be the right way. Who decides what is the right way anyway? The answer is it comes down to you, the final decision lies in your hands. Don’t base your actions on the opinions of others, if you want to make your boyfriend your fiancé then go for it.
I am a woman so I cannot put myself in a man shoes, so I teamed up with my fellow relationship blogger friend Josh for this one so I could get a male perspective on this topic .
When Tin told me about this topic, my immediate question was – Why would you as a woman even feel the need to propose to your man?
I get the man and women are equals and if can man can propose, the woman should be able to do the same if she wants. That being said, being equal doesn’t mean we are the same.
One of the differences is our ego. We men have a special relationship with our ego and a lot of time we make decisions based on how it stimulates our ego. I’m not saying you cannot or should not propose to your man, but you saying yes to us would do more for our ego, which affects how we see and appreciate you than us saying yes to you.
Also we are leaders by nature and like to take control as well as influence. I’m yet to meet a man that would like to get married but he’s waiting for his woman to propose first. if a man wants to marry you, he would ask you and if we are not asking, it’s normally for at least one of 3 reasons:
– We do not want to marry you (or anybody else)
– We are not yet sure if being married to you would be good for us
– We are not yet ready to get married because we cannot guarantee that level of commitment or we’re still chasing other things.
So why would you even want to propose to someone that’s not in a state to get married to you?
I have found that some women just want to believe what’s in their head, regardless of what’s staring them in the face. No MAN is too shy or scared to ask for what he really wants, so don’t feel the need to take the initiative on our behalf. Also if you are going to take the lead, you have taken what makes us feel like men, so don’t be surprised when you end up with a boy, and you have to take the lead on everything – money, bills, kids, school etc.
I can imagine how frustrating it can be for a woman waiting on her partner whilst factoring age and her close friends getting married. However if we have a good thing, I’d rather her ask me about my intentions than her proposing to me. When I proposed to my wife, that worm I had in my stomach when I asked her parents, bought the ring, getting down on one knee and hearing her say yes was priceless. It felt like I won the lottery and it could not have been the same if she had proposed to me. I probably would have laughed and thought it was a prank.
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